As I write this, I’m overwhelmed by the memories of the past handful of months. It’s been a journey I never expected to embark on, yet I am sharing my story with you.
On December 1st, 2023, my world turned upside down. That was the day I received the dreaded diagnosis: Invasive Lobular Carcinoma: Her 2 negative, estrogen and progestogen positive. Hearing those words they echoed in my mind, sending shockwaves through every fiber of my being. Cancer. The word that alone is heavy, laden with fear and uncertainty.
But this journey didn’t start there. It began long before, with a family history of breast cancer guiding my path. Knowing the risks, I diligently underwent regular breast MRIs and mammograms since the age of 35 (now 47) every six months. The scans showed nothing in July, offering a brief moment of relief. Little did I know, a storm was brewing beneath the surface.
So let’s back up. In October, a subtle pain in my armpit caught my attention. Initially, I dismissed it as a strain from my new exercise routine. But as days passed, the pain intensified, spreading to my right breast. I searched for answers, hoping it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Then, a lump appeared stark against the canvas of my skin. It started off very small. It felt like a lymph node. Then over the course of days, it grew bigger and bigger.
At the time of discovery, I was vacationing in Mexico, and uncertainty began to loom over me. I reached out to my OBGYN, seeking guidance from afar. Her words, though reassuring, couldn’t quell the growing unease within me. She advised me to enjoy my trip, but to schedule a sonogram upon my return.
Returning home, I faced the truth head-on. The sonogram led to a biopsy, and the biopsy delivered the news I never wanted to hear. December 1st marked the day my life would never be the same. It was the call no one wants to get, yet there it was, irrevocably altering the course of my future.
In the midst of despair, I found solace in the unwavering support of my loved ones. Their love became my lifeline, anchoring me amidst the turbulent sea of emotions. Together, we faced each challenge with courage and resilience, refusing to let cancer define me.
On December 28th, I had a bilateral, nipple-saving mastectomy with same-day reconstructive surgery. The surgery that was supposed to take around three to four hours took over five. We discovered that the cancer had spread to one lymph node (that was detectable), and the surgeon said she could feel that the cancer had spread into my chest muscle. I remember she called it a “sneaky cancer” and said she had to “dig it out.” Now, understanding the unique nature of lobular breast cancer, characterized by its tendency to spread diffusely rather than in a distinct mass, added a layer of complexity to my surgery.
Through countless post-op doctor’s appointments and moments of doubt, one of the greatest things happened. I discovered an inner strength I never knew existed. An amazing warrior I have met during this process shared the sentiment that one of the hardest parts about having cancer is just knowing that you have it. That is so true! I would add that a close second is needed to deal with the uncertainty of your journey. Will I die? Will I have to do chemotherapy? Will I ever look the same again? Will everyone think of me as a cancer patient and treat me differently? Something so private can be so visible to the world.
During that period of unknowing, each day became a battle, fought with determination and unwavering hope. Cancer may have invaded my body, but it did not and will never conquer my spirit.
As I continue to navigate this still uncertain terrain, I believe every setback is a setup for a comeback. Cancer may have taken a small part of me, but it cannot take away my resilience, my courage, or my spirit. I am more than a statistic, more than a diagnosis. I am a survivor, a warrior, and I refuse to let cancer dim the light within me.
So here I am, bearing my soul and sharing my journey with you. May my story serve as a beacon of hope for anyone facing their own battle with cancer and encourage others who are not to trust their instincts and be proactive about their health. If you think something may be wrong, please act on it.
When times are hard, regardless of the circumstance, remember that you are not alone. Together, we are stronger, united in our fight for a brighter tomorrow.
